


Story 2 chapter 3: Black tears

by uddelhexe



Series: Happy.Never.Afters [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Boys at the Beach, Castie's deal with the empty, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fuck you Empty!, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, I cried while writing this, M/M, No Smut, Sad Dean Winchester, Team Free Will, Team Free Will 2.0, Whump, more than implied Destiel, season 14, why I am doing this to myself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-10-10 16:28:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17429432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uddelhexe/pseuds/uddelhexe
Summary: "And then...when you forget about me...and finally allow yourself to be happy and let the sun shine on your face...then I'll come."





	Story 2 chapter 3: Black tears

**Author's Note:**

> Last part of the little Series of short storys in the second storyline in the  
> Happy.Never.Afters  
> Series.
> 
>  
> 
> Don't hate me. And leave comments! I need them much! I feel so unsure if I am doing good enough in english. I need some encouragment!

It had been years after Michael had left Dean and had been banned to another plane and they had gone back to hunting.

Began to hunt down the creatures Michael had brought into this world to destroy it. And they did a good job at it.

Jack had begun to become a skilled hunter early after a hell lot of training from the two best in this field.

He was a good shot like Dean, smart like Sam, wise and calm like Castiel when it came to a fight. There had been no monster they hadn’t been able to kill, no evil they hadn’t found out how to whip it of this planet or this plane of existence.

The Winchester legend had already been one of great reputation but nowadays they were all four legends with their stories told among hunters all over America.

Team free will was something to be reckoned with when it came to fight creatures that were about to harm people or demons that began to work outside of their boundaries.

It felt so naturally and they fell into a good rhythm of family life activities mixed with hunting trips to rescue some innocent people or maybe the world once and a while.

* * *

 

“Beer. Who the hell packed the beer?” Dean shouted franticly from the kitchen.

“Would you jerk stop yelling around so loud? I already brought it to the garage,” Sam laughed at his brother.

A nice and not gay at all finger gun was pointed at the taller Winchester, a funny one eyed wink followed and Dean was out of the kitchen in one motion. Sam still giggled, the manly way of course. It was so good to see his brother in such a goofy mood.

After all the fighting…the lack of sleep in the last weeks because of some gracy juiced up vampires…and Michael possessing him years ago…twice…he could not think of a single thing that he would rather see then his joking brother running through the bunker like a grinning idiot and enjoying the preparations for an epic picnic at the lake.

A smiling Jack came into the kitchen obviously looking for Sam.

“Wow. Dean is really in high spirits, isn’t he? I think I actually never saw him that happy.”

“Yeah. Me neither. Not in a very long time. Long before you were born. Hell, maybe even before we met Cas.”

“Castiel sent me to ask if there is something else we need to pack for the trip.”

“Did you get yourself something for the sleepover in the motel?”

“Yes. I’m fine.”

“Then we’re good.”

The young Nephilim looked at Sam eagerly. This was not his first trip, but the first ever that could be called a real vacation trip with his fathers.

“I’m totally looking forward to this, Sam. This is our first vacation as a family. I learned that that is something normal families would do ever so often over holidays.”

Sam chuckled at the innocent anticipation the young man showed. Then he started walking and clapped Jack on the shoulder while passing him.

“It is my first family vacation too, Jack.”

They left the kitchen while Sam tried to explain Jack, why such a thing never happened to Dean and him when they had been kids.

So this was a first for all of them.

Finally being a family. For once only for being together and enjoying each other’s company. Doing all the picked fences family things.

What ever that meant.

* * *

 

Dean grabbed baby’s steering wheel with both hands and grinned like a total idiot. Castiel  watched him from the backseat where he and Jack were sitting. Sometimes Dean was giving him a glance in the mirror and his eyes where sparkling.

Castiel felt a sting in his heart.

He never had known Dean like this. So very joyful. His soul was practically radiating through his body for everyone to see. Well, everyone that could see souls.

Like him.

He felt that it was something special between him and Dean. Nobody in their little family, besides him, had ever seen Dean’s soul. None of them knew how bright it would shine when Dean was happy. And how soothing the light was glowing when he was calm and just at peace.

Only he could see it.

With a happy sigh Castiel watched the landscape pass by. How trees formed a green scheme  and melted into each other when baby was racing the road fast and steady. It felt a little like flying. At least how he remembered it to be.

Over the years, in which he had been bound to the earth, the memories of wind between his wings, the feeling of speed and the world sliding on both sides around him…and above…and under him…had faded to something close to the memories of a dream.

It made him sad that a big part of his being was about to fall apart… out of his reach forever. But he knew, that he would be able to make his peace with it at some point in his life. The memories would never completely fade…but they’d dull down until they were like a film he once had watched.

 

The last years had been hard but also there had been something that hadn’t been there before in that extent. Not like that.

The feeling of family had intensified in a steady growing process. He’d never felt so in the right place in his life. Like his whole existence had to lead to this point where he had become part of the Winchester family. Where he had become surrogate father to a son. Brother to Sam and Dean.

To see Sam, Jack, and Dean this happy…free and sanguine… made something inside him jump and laugh. A feeling was growing that he didn’t know he had.

The smile that was showing his thoughts began to falter a little.

Could this be real happiness? Real love? He watched Jack who was sitting beside him, talking to Sam.

Sam and Jack had a great relationship. Sam was a great teacher to Jack. He knew the younger hunter would protect the Nephilim with every ounce of strength he had. He’d been with Jack when he was born, and he’d stayed by his side while he had been dying. That required strength that most humans never would be able to reach.

And Jack felt safe with Sam and Dean.

A bitter taste was filling his mouth. Would it be selfish to think that he was so important to Jack as well? Or was it better to hope, that he never made the deep impact on the young man, like the Winchesters had made? So that it wouldn’t matter that much if his time would come…

When Jack once had asked him why he wouldn’t tell the Winchesters about the deal with the Empty to safe his son…he’d told Jack that he didn’t want them to be bothered by something they wouldn’t be able to change anyway. And that he didn’t believe that his end would be near with all the bad things happening in the world.

But that had been years ago.

Somehow he knew that the time he somehow simultaneously feared and anticipated was near.

The time he would allow himself to fully feel all this wonderful and warm feelings, because it was so hard to avoid them more and more each day.

That he would look at his family with all the love he had inside of him. That he’d never allowed to overcome him in the past. Even before he’d made the deal.

“Earth to Cas! Daydreaming again?”

“What?”

Dean laughed and Sam joined him.

“We wondered if you can swim. Jack asked and I had to admit…I’ve no idea. I never saw you doing it. So…can you swim?”

“Um…I think…I...I have no idea. I never had to. Soo…probably not?”

“I call dips on teaching Mister Angel here to swim. That’ll be so much fun.”

“You’re really looking forward to this, don’t you?” Castiel suddenly was very aware of the fact that it would probably not look very graceful to learn how to swim as a grown man and how Dean very much seemed to enjoy that thought.

“You betcha!”

There it was again. This warm feeling all over his being. So almighty and shiny. He felt so light. He smiled fondly and rested his head back.

He would enjoy every day…every minute and every second he was given with his family and this warmth he didn’t knew he had been missing in his entire existence as an angel of the lord.

* * *

 

“And when he walked in there as if nothing could happen to him…oh I nearly pissed myself!” Dean laughed so hard that he doubled over on the blanked they had braced on the grass to rest on between swimming sessions and playing ball games.

They’d found out several things already: So far Castiel really sucked in Volleyball and wasn’t a fan of swimming either.

Not that he was endangered to die of drowning…but to sink to the ground because he wasn’t able to mimic Dean’s swimming motions properly had been nothing he’d looking forward too.  

So far Dean had been able to teach him the basics. But the hunter made sure to make Castiel know that he looked like a waddling dog in his attempts to stay above the water.

Sam was already back on his way to the shore when he winked at his brother to join him once more.

“You come?”

“Eat me, Dean Winchester. I’ll stay here and watch you having fun.”

“Your loss!” Dean already was up and on his way, followed by a happy Jack.

“They laughed at me too when I learned how to swim. Don’t be mad at Dean.”

Castiel smiled at his son and shook his head: “ I’m not mad at Dean. I just don’t want to make a fool of myself. Go, have fun. I really don’t mind to watch you.”

Jack nodded and run after the older Winchester. They splashed into the water and began to play around.

Castel watched them swimming and diving. Sometimes they ducked someone or threw each other into the water and laughed hard when they were able to go in ass first.

The angel leaned back on his elbows and felt a calmness settle inside of him and a soft smile that was cemented on his features. The sun already was about to go down and the sky had began to show colors of red and orange. It made the scene even more enjoyable and illuminated his family with a glowing halo that reminded him of the divine that he thought he’d lost.

But there was it. In front of him. All the heaven he needed for his life. If he evercould be able to have a heaven: this would be it. This day. This beach. His family happy playing in the water. Even Dean and Sam laughing their asses of at Castiel’s attempts to swim.

He sighed and whipped away a tear that was running down his face.

Something was wrong.

The tear did feel wrong.

He looked at his hand and froze. There was something dark smeared around his finger. It’s substance was not watery but more thick and sticky. He sat up straight and registered that his eyes had began to tear up more of the ugly stuff.

Both of them. And it hurt. His eyes began to burn and the sticky glue began to fill up his sight more and more.

He wanted to call for help but he couldn’t breathe. Something was inside his throat.  It was welling up into his mouth and he began to heave it onto his legs.

Terror was what he felt in the moment he realized what was happening. He’d seen this before. In heaven. Dead angels on the floor. Black glue coming out of their eyes…of their noses and of their mouths.

His vision began to fade. The black rendering the outer rim and shutting down his eyesite.

He tried to stand up. He had to say goodbye. He had to tell them how much he loved them. How much this last years had meant to him. How much his feelings had been worth the sacrifice.

But he realized that he wouldn’t be able to tell them all of this.

Would they know?

Would they be able to let go, after he was gone? Would they be ok?

Would Dean be ok?

He struggled but was able to stand up. More and more black was floating out of his body. It burnt in a strange way. As if it only was hate that was burning him.

 **HELLO CASTIEL**.

_Eat me!_

**I’M ON IT,MY DEAR ANGEL. DON’ T TRY TO CALL FOR THEM. IT IS TOO LATE. YOU’RE MINE!**

The last thing he saw was Dean stopping in his motions and turning around with wide eyes. Then the shouting an all three men running out of the water. In his direction.

Castiel began to fall. He couldn’t stand upright any more. He only could see black now. But he still could hear the heavy breaths coming closer. Dean calling his name.

Dean.

“Cas! No! Cas, please not! Cas, can you hear me? Fight it! Please don’t go….”

The voice became a distant whisper. He felt how someone lifted his body from the sand. How he was swayed back and forth. How the person holding him was shivering.

He felt warmth were their skin was touching. A hand holding his own.

_You know what? I’m at peace with you. This was worth it. I had a good life knowing my family and knowing love._

**YOU THINK HE KNOWS?**

_Yes._

* * *

_And because I ‘m not done with you: Dean’s POV:_

 

The water began to cool down a bit but it didn’t bother him. Sam was coming up again after he’d ducked him under and laughed his ass of. He felt so free. A long time since he had felt like this.

Suddenly a pain inside of him raised and it began to really sting. He placed his hand over his heart and froze. Sam watched his brother worriedly.

“What’s wrong, Dude. Is the old man having a heart attack?”

Dean didn’t move. Was he having a heart attack?

“Dean, seriously…you’re freaking me out here.”

Slowly Dean turned around and a cold shiver began shaking his body. It became stronger the more he turned.

He watched for Castiel and suddenly his heart skipped a beat. Cas was standing, but he looked as if in pain. His eyes nearly squeezed shut and something dark running down his cheek.

Dean stopped thinking and began to run. He began to shout Cas’ name.

When he came closer, followed by Sam and Jack, he saw he angel crumpling down into the sand. Black liquid welling out of his mouth, his eyes, his nose… He could tell that Cas tried to talk, but couldn’t because his throat was blocked.

He slid on the ground beside his friend and scooped him up. He began to panic. This couldn’t be happening!

“Cas! No! Cas, please not! Cas, can you hear me? Fight it! Please don’t go! CAS!”

He held him in his arms and trembled. He felt Sam’s hand resting on his shoulder but didn’t know if his brother was talking to him.

The world began to fade around him. There was only Castiel he could see. Only him, he could think of.

“Please…I didn’t tell you how much…I…please. I need more time…Please…”

Castiel smiled weakly and blindly raised a shivering hand searching for contact. Dean grabbed it and led it to his face where it rested with the fingers gently caressing his skin.

This second Dean recognized that Castiel knew.

And perhaps knew it so well because he too had wished to pronounce it out loud.

To Tell Dean.

But right at this moment they both felt it.

Dean still held on Castiel’s hand when it began to go slack. When all the tension left his body.

With a last whisper he kissed the inside of the angels hand lovingly.

“I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think?
> 
> BTW...I am open for commissions and suggestions!


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